Skip to main content

It Was Over

This was an interesting experiment for me.

A guy around here was doing a research paper and asked a number of people to write about 250 words about one of a number of photos. The task was to describe the events leading up to the photo, in the photo and what might happen after.

I went a little over on words (I did about 320), but I sort of liked this... I might try to expand this into something much longer since I like it and in the spare word count I wasn't able to do what I had in my head justice....

So, here's the photo that served as the prompt and then what I came up with:


“It’s just not working out,” I told her and she began to cry, softly at first and then harder as the news sank in. The thrill of hurting her exhilarating to me beyond reason. I’d been fanaticizing about it for so long, I was half sure this moment would never come.

“But… I love you,” she pleaded. But it didn’t matter. I had no feelings for her. I picked her up and strung her along for this moment and this moment alone. For once, I would be the one doing the heart breaking.

God, it felt good.

“Why?” she asked, over and over again she asked.

When I tried to tell her, I suddenly found that I couldn’t. Why was it so easy to hurt her a moment before, but no further?

Wiping the tears from her eyes, she tried her hardest to put on a brave face and once again ask me, “Why?”

Why, indeed.

And so, without a further word, I simply got up and left, not having the heart to break hers further.

I think, for a while, she followed me, but I lost in the bustle of the city.

I was filled with unexpected incredulity. I was hurt and appalled with myself. I broke this girls heart and then fled. It was supposed to feel good, and for a moment, it did. But now…

Jesus.

I took a left turn into the park so I could sit. I felt vulnerable and didn’t want to be near people so I took a seat on the grass.

Each face that passed by seemed to grate on me, further and further, accusing me of my wrong-doing. It seemed as though every passerby could see into my soul and accuse me for what I had done.

I draped my shirt over my head, obfuscating my shame from the world, and I lay back, onto the grass, hoping to wish away my guilt.

But to no avail.

Perhaps I’ll call her tomorrow.

After all, she was cute. And in love with me.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hi, I have recently opened a new ezine called Short Story Library located at http://shortstory.us.com and wanted to pass on the information to you. The site allows you to read some good quality short stories as well as submit your own for consideration in future editions!
1:05 PM
Anonymous said…
I liked it. I didn't end the way I expected and yet there was resolution. Many short stories see to leave things up in the air as if to say... "you read it, you figure it out." This finished off nicely and cleanly. Thank you for five pleasant minutes in my life.

BMP
8:52 PM
Anonymous said…
i like the end, "perhaps i'll call her tomorrow' -- simple and believable.

ditch 'obfuscate', it reads like you've found it in a thesaurus and it doesn't mean 'to obscure' in that sense.

the guilt stuff rants on a bit, i wouldn't make it longer. par it down.
6:35 AM
Ankur said…
Nice linking with photo. Good story.
8:32 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Salt Lake Comic Con 2017 Schedule

It's time for another year of Salt Lake Comic Con and another hectic schedule for me. But! that doesn't mean it's not a helluva lot of fun. I hope you're able to join me at any of these panels. Especially if you like Star Wars. And please, please, please come to my signing and visit. Get some books signed. I'd love that enormously. Here is my Thursday schedule: Everything here is a highlight. That first panel about behind the scenes of the prequels is with Pablo Hidalgo and I'll be asking him questions about what it was like to be there on set for most of the prequels. Then I'll be asking questions of Michael Biehn, who I've been a fan of since I was a little kid. Aliens and Terminator were favorites. If you want to ask him a question, please hit me up on Twitter with it. I will ask it at the panel. And you don't want to miss Fauxthentic History's Infinity Gauntlet live episode. It's going to be soooo good. Here is Friday: ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The End of an Era and a New Beginning

It's been a long time coming, but I think an upgrade to my web presence was long overdue. I began this blog in 2005 and it's served me well over the last 13 years. My goal in those early days was to write a short story every month. Back then, that was the only writing I was doing. This website, then called "Bryan's Short Story Corner," got me into a regular writing habit. One that I still maintain today. I hoped it would help me get eyeballs on my words and, looking back at some of those early short stories, I shouldn't have wanted any of those eyeballs looking. Today, my Patreon fills that void. There is a dedicated group of supporters there that help subsidize my ability to write short stories on the regular. After I started publishing books, this blog morphed into a place to talk about my projects and writing and it worked well enough for that for a long time. But now I have Twitter and Medium for those functions and they have much cleaner and easi...
Post a Comment
Read more

Anatomy of a Scene: All the President's Men

All the President's Men is one of those perfect movies. Based on a stunning true story with a brilliant screenplay from William Goldman (we've already gone through one of his scenes here with Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid ), it's a movie that brings all of the elements of character, plot, and drama together in a way that makes me really love and admire it.  The scene I want to go through is one that comes during a particularly trying time in the film. For those unaware, this film tells the tale of Woodward and Bernstein, the Washington Post reporters who cracked the Watergate story. And now, looking back on it, it all feels like one big victory, but it was marked by a number of defeats.  This is them reporting to their skeptical editor, Ben Bradlee (played brilliantly by Jason Robards) about where their investigation is at. Immediately preceding Woodward and Bernstein walking in, a salesman is trying to sell Bradlee on features his papers doe...
Post a Comment
Read more